As the calendar turns to October, a month known for the advent of all things pumpkin flavored and spooky, know that it also carries a deeper significance for a community of millions worldwide. October is ADHD Awareness Month, a dedicated time to shine a spotlight on Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), a neurodevelopmental condition that affects people of all ages. It sounds scarier than it is though, odds are you, or someone you know has ADHD  (it does affect 366 million adults and 129 million children worldwide) and they’re absolutely fine. During this month, let’s take some time to shed some light on what ADHD is, common misconceptions, sources of education and how you can support your husba–someone you know with ADHD. 

When you google “What causes ADHD” you’re going to get a lot of technical jargon about neurological factors, genetic switches and punnett squares. No one wants to return to high school biology and so I will translate for you. Science does not know what causes ADHD. The scientists don’t like just coming out and saying that, and they have a lot of really good guesses but, they do not know what causes it and it doesn’t have a cure. You and your high schooler/brother/sister/wife/cousin/school age child/ bestie  have to live with it and so it’s better to understand it and get any common misconceptions out of the way. Lets outline and attack some of said misconceptions right now: 

ADHD is not a real disorder/ is made up by the medical industry/people with ADHD are just lazy.

Ahem – YES IT IS, NO IT ISN’T AND NO THEY AREN’T IN THAT ORDER. ADHD has shown up in medical textbooks as far back as 1775. Yes you read that right. Since BEFORE THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WAS SIGNED, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WRITING ABOUT ADHD IN TEXTBOOKS. People believe the United States is a  real place (lol) and so folks should absolutely believe that ADHD isn’t your loved one, or student, just goofing off. ADHD impairs major life activities including social, emotional, academic and work functioning. It is a lifelong disorder with the majority of children diagnosed with ADHD continuing to struggle with symptoms as adults. ADHD runs in families with a 57% chance for a child of a parent with ADHD also being diagnosed with ADHD. So if your child has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and you’re wondering why perhaps it’s time to look in a mirror.

ADHD is the result of bad parenting

Ahem – NO ITS NOT. Again. Science does NOT KNOW what causes ADHD. They have a lot of really good guesses and none of them have anything to do with you as a parent. Don’t let anyone tell you that. Stop telling yourself that. Breathe. Your style of parenting can absolutely help or hurt your child that has been diagnosed with ADHD but the ADHD itself isn’t your fault. Of course you now want to know how you can alter your parenting style to help your child. Valid. We are here to help! The best research on the subject asserts that allowing the natural consequences to your child’s actions to happen and assisting them with focus and problem solving with gentle authority is the actual best way to help your child integrate their neurodivergence into this melting pot we call a world. In layman’s terms,  this means letting them get into trouble sometimes and teaching them how to exercise critical thinking and empathy to solve their way through the real world issues that crop up for them specifically. 

ADHD only affects boys.

Gender based discrimination was invented by people and since life is not an episode of Osmosis Jones, there are not actually tiny people running our brains. This means that neurodivergent disorders like ADHD can literally affect anyone. Because nature doesn’t discriminate as some of us unfortunately are still prone to do. With that said, this is a common misconception associated with ADHD so watch out, and advocate for, your daughters. 

She can pay attention for HOURS when she & her friends are BUSY playing “Garten of Banban”. She DEFINITELY doesn’t have ADHD. 

I’m sorry to burst your bubble but, you’re disregarding the hyperactivity part of the ADHD acronym here. ADHD does NOT mean that your child has a complete inability to pay attention to anything. ADHD is a dysregulation of attention to various stimuli. This means that your child isn’t paying attention to what you, or sometimes even they, want them to be paying attention to if it isn’t stimulating enough. Activities that stimulate your child (a.k.a. Things they WANT to do I.E. Minecraft/Roblox/FNAF) will enter them into a state of hyperfocus, which is like, super attention. (This can look like your smelly 16 year old stumbling into your kitchen at 6pm after a 14 hour minecraft binge telling you that they ‘ don’t know why they forgot to eat anything all day’ and  ‘are starving’.) Be gentle with this person. Use the critical thinking and problem solving skills you have been teaching them to help them brainstorm solutions for moments when they’re ‘in the zone’.

Children who take ADHD medication are more likely to abuse drugs when they become teenagers! 

Ahem- this is the OPPOSITE of truth. ADHD is a condition that absolutely needs to be managed and untreated sufferers are much more likely to try and self medicate. While it is alarmingly true that people with ADHD are more likely to engage in adult substance abuse, longitudinal studies have shown that children with ADHD medication are not at an increased risk of substance abuse relative to the ones who have ADHD and are unmedicated. The medicine used to treat ADHD has been vetted as safe through many years of trial and error and they work! They won’t cure ADHD but they will help alleviate pesky symptoms. 

Children with ADHD who are given special accommodations are getting an unfair advantage.

Ahem- This is ableist and rooted in the idea that ADHD isn’t a real disorder. Full stop. In order to get past this misconception people have to truly accept that ADHD is real and think about what that means for the people in their lives. Children and people with ADHD are at a distinct disadvantage. They have trouble paying attention to things that aren’t directly stimulating. Imagine that for a second. The idea that unless something is interesting even paying attention to it for any length of time is nearly impossible. Imagine trying to have a conversation with a two year old with this particular set of neurodivergent triggers. To us, that sounds like life on hard mode.  It isn’t exactly a cake walk for folks with ADHD and they need special accommodations so that their baseline in society is closer to people without ADHD. Something as simple as being able to bounce a basketball while learning their multiplication tables, or 10 extra minutes on an exam might really go the extra mile toward getting over educational stopping points. 

Believe it or not these aren’t the only misconceptions that exist about ADHD. Theories powered by misinformation are wild, abundant and proliferate in silence. It’s really important to break that silence in order to debunk these sometimes objectively weird beliefs about ADHD, not only to provide accurate information but also, to offer support, empathy and inclusion for those navigating the world with ADHD. If you’re inspired by this article and would like to learn more about ADHD,  organizations like CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), and ADDitude offer a wealth of information, from articles and webinars to local support groups. Books like Dr. Russels Barkley’s “Taking Charge of ADHD” provide valuable insights, and seeking guidance from mental health professionals can be a crucial step in understanding and managing ADHD. Together, let’s continue to foster awareness, dispel misconceptions, and create a world where everyone’s unique neurodiversity is celebrated and supported.