As we dive into the complex world of relationships, it’s essential to shed light on a topic that often lurks in the shadows: teen dating violence. It’s a grave concern, with one in three teens in the United States experiencing physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they’re in a relationship with before adulthood. The signs might not always be glaring, but they are there, whispering in the darkness. To help you recognize and address this pressing issue, we’re delving into the key warning signs that should never be ignored.

• Insults, Intimidation, and Humiliation:  This includes verbal insults, emotional manipulation, public humiliation in front of friends and social peers, control over personal choices like hair and outfits, gaslighting and more! In a healthy relationship, partners lift each other up, but if one constantly puts the other down through insults, intimidation, or humiliation, it’s a major red flag.
• Extreme Jealousy and Control: Excessive jealousy, insecurity, or controlling behavior can manifest as limiting your partner’s interactions, monitoring their whereabouts, or questioning their every move. If your teen enters a new relationship and one day you look up and notice that your formerly sparkly child is now dressed in several brown burlap sacks it might be time to take a closer look at that relationship and whether or not their partner is controlling their physical appearance. 
• Isolation from Friends and Family: An abusive partner often seeks to isolate their victim from loved ones, making the victim more dependent on them emotionally. Now this one can be tricky for parents, as children hit those teen years they  naturally gravitate towards friend groups and away from their parents. So keep a close eye on whether or not they are still hanging out with their beloved friends after the start of a seemingly very intense relationship. 
• Unwanted Sexual Contact: Any form of unwanted sexual contact is a clear violation of consent and a significant sign of abuse. Full stop.
• Explosive Temper and Moodiness: Rapid mood swings, explosive tempers, or unusual moodiness can create a hostile environment within the relationship.
• Constant Monitoring of Social Media: If one partner obsessively tracks the other’s social media activities or whereabouts, it’s a breach of personal boundaries. 
• Invasions of Privacy: Unannounced visits, snooping through personal belongings, or unauthorized access to private information are invasive behaviors.
• Leaving Unwanted Items or Gifts: While seemingly harmless, this can be a tactic used to maintain control or manipulate the victim emotionally.
• Substance Abuse: An abusive partner may use drugs or alcohol to exert further control or coerce their victim.
• Threats and Physical Violence:  The most severe warning sign, threats, and any form of physical violence, including scratches or bruises, are unmistakable signs of an abusive relationship.

Within the realm of teen dating violence, it’s important to grasp that abuse doesn’t always announce itself with blaring alarms. Instead, it often begins quietly, marked by what we might call “pink flags” – these are small incidents that may not appear significant on their own. It could be seemingly uncharacteristic rudeness, traces of jealousy, or the occasional burst of anger, often followed by profuse apologies. Unfortunately, these early signs often go unnoticed by parents or guardians, and victims of abuse, especially teens, don’t usually volunteer this information. Recognizing these warning signs is crucial because teen dating violence can have lifelong consequences on a person’s physical and emotional well-being. It can lead to antisocial behaviors, symptoms of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and unhealthy relationships in the future. Parental involvement is key in keeping up and coming abusers away from our teens! You can try to steer things down a better path by having open and honest conversations with your child about what healthy relationships look like, keeping an eye out for the above signs of abuse, and generally staying observant around your teen and their new beau, especially when at home with you! Remember that nipping teen violence in the bud can make all the difference in your teens development into a healthy unproblematic adult. By being informed and proactive, we can teach our children to build healthy, respectful relationships with each other.