The dehumanization of Black women is deeply rooted in American and global history, perpetuating an idea that denies us full humanity, credibility, and desirability, especially for dark-skinned Black women. Society, in some instances, conditions itself not to see Black women at all. The antidote to combat this dehumanization lies in the liberal application of self-love to enhance daily resilience.
Practicing self-love, however, is really freaking hard. High self-expectations and life pressures often make our self-esteem the first casualty in life’s battles. Many of us are uncertain about what self-care truly entails. Does it involve spa visits, indulging hedonistically in our favorite dumplings? Perhaps starting meditation, rediscovering spirituality, or even going no contact with a parent? What does engaging with self-love look like for Black women, especially in the current season of life? In this exploration, we will delve into three strategies to infuse daily life with a much-needed dose of self-love.

You Can’t Do Everything: Learn to Say ‘No’ More

For many, especially this author, self-love begins with acknowledging personal limitations. It’s an understanding that, as a Black woman, being seen as disagreeable, mean, arrogant, or angry is a stereotype that one may seek to avoid. This for me, often results in overextending myself, taking on too many projects, eventually burning out and having no energy for my actual friends. Recognizing that ‘no’ is a complete sentence becomes a liberating act. It’s a radical movement to preserve one’s well-being and energy for areas that truly matter. Like your friends, loved ones and life. Saying ‘no’ is an assertion of boundaries, a vital step in the journey of self-love.

Embrace Your Weirdness: Authenticity Is Beautiful

Everyone has quirks that make them uniquely themselves. Embracing one’s weirdness is an act of self-love. It’s an acknowledgment that perfection is a myth and that authenticity is far more beautiful. By being true to oneself, Black women can connect with like-minded individuals who appreciate and love them for who they genuinely are. So, embrace your quirks, hyperfocus away and let your freak flag fly!

Check In with Your Inner Goddess: Celebrate Your Greatness

In the midst of life’s chaos—whether it’s pursuing a new degree, managing a side business, caring for children, or maximizing your earning potential—it’s essential to regularly check in with what makes you great. Every Black woman possesses a unique brilliance that distinguishes her. Remember ‘Black girl magic’? Take time to check in with yours!. Celebrate your achievements, recognize your strengths, and revel in the magic that is uniquely yours.

Watch Your Mouth: Harness the Power of Positive Self-Talk

Language has immense power, especially the words we use to describe ourselves. Negative self-talk can seep into our beliefs, creating doubts about our abilities. This looks like saying “I’m such a doofus!” when you make mistakes and slowly over time, losing trust in yourself to accomplish things you know you are capable of and good at.  Instead of perpetuating a narrative of inadequacy, actively choose positive affirmations. Remind yourself daily that you are enough, smart, and capable. Recognize the tools within you for success. By changing your internal dialogue, you’ll find the strength to overcome life’s challenges.

In navigating the strategies of saying ‘no,’ embracing weirdness, embracing the inner goddess, and watching your words, Black women embark on a journey of self-love. This journey is not just an indulgence; it’s a necessity for resilience in the face of societal dehumanization. As these practices become ingrained in daily life, they serve as constant reminders to prioritize self-care. In rediscovering and reclaiming their essence, Black women pave the way for a profound transformation—one rooted in love, authenticity, and unapologetic self-celebration.